The cheating girlfriend
January 3, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
The cheating girlfriend seems to be the topic of the day - it’s what everybody is talking about! It almost phenomenon… or should I say an epidemic?
There are a lot of things to deal with here: it’s a complex matter which requires some serious digging around inside your head, and some ugly truths to face.
Questions such as these need to be considered in full:
- Am I - at some leel - the reason my girlfriend cheated on me?
- Did I simply make a bad choice when it came to choosing a girlfriend?
- Did I influence the course of events in any way? Why? How?
- What do I need to learn from this experience in order to prevent this from happening again?
If your cheating girlfriend issue is quite recent is something or it’s something you’re trying to deal with right now, then your brain will probably be mush and far from coherent when it comes to analysing.
This article is not about of this, but rather about the cheating girlfriend alone (i.e. none of the other things that need to be considered).
Before I go on, let me remind you that you should download How To Get Over Your Ex (the FREE sample that I have provided) to learn more about the things you need to ask yourself and how to deal with it all in general.
Okay so back to the cheating girlfriend:
You’re probably far from happy right now if this is something that you’re dealing with. What I’m going to do here is to help you look at things in a slightly different way.
Ask yourself this:
How long were you together with your girlfriend?
Now take your answer (x) and think of this:
If you split up as a result, then every day that passed after your girlfriend cheated was a day potentially wasted. In other words, you were spending time, love, affection, money, thinking time on your girlfriend, which turned out to be not ‘the one’.
Turning the above statement upside down gets you this: every day that you spent with your ex-girlfriend after she cheated on you was a day which you could have spent with somebody else - or finding the right girlfriend for you.
So to conclude, consider this:
Aren’t you glad that you discovered (eventually) your cheating girlfriend when you did, and not a day (or week, or month, or year) later?
I agree that it’s not a nice feeling, and you may have been left to pick up the pieces, but come on! It’s over now. It stopped.
Now it doesn’t matter if she cheats or not, because she’s not your girlfriend any more. So stop thinking about her because each day that you spend in sorrow is another day wasted. Arm yourself with the knowledge that you need to get over her and then start your search for your new relationship.
Once again, download your own copy of How to get over your ex and start turning those pages!
=====Mastery begins with the self
Jose Gonzalez
Author, Qualified NLP Practitioner, member of the Society Of NLP
Get your 6500 + word sample of How To Get Over Your Ex. It's FREE and yours to keep - use as a reference, whenever and wherever.
Cheating girlfriend / cheating wife: how to deal with this
October 27, 2008 by admin · Leave a Comment
So your girlfriend cheated on you… or your wife cheated on you, and now you’re wondering what to do…
Just knowing what to expect, and understanding the logical patterns of behaviours that may arise can give you a huge insight into your own reactions, thoughts, behaviours and help you to control them to a great extent. So let’s think about how most people - in general - may react when their girlfriend of wife cheats on them or does ’something untoward’ behind their back.
Most people are likely to experience a myriad of feelings, ranging from anger to denial to downright depression. Each state brings with it a set of related behaviours and tendencies or thoughts. For instance, during the anger stage you may well feel drawn toward any or all of the following:
- getting revenge on your ex girlfriend
- getting even with your ex wife
- teaching your ex girlfriend or ex wife a lesson
These are all behaviours associated with the negative, and all 3 of the above normally come second to more violent thoughts such as punching an object or doing something that releases physical tension.
Unfortunately, some people will consider lashing out at their partner. This is of course unacceptable and to many, the mark of a coward. If you even think about being violent toward your spouse, girlfriend - and even exes - then you should consider seeking professional advice.
This article is aimed at the secondary wave of feelings and thoughts that may arise in the anger stage, following the primary (more primal) urges in which a man, upon finding his wife or girlfriend cheated on him, may feel like hitting something - punching a wall, a car door, a car steering wheel… - in the heat of the moment.
After the intensity of that first wave passes, what’s left is usually anger, sorrow and ill feelings, and for some, the urge to get even, to even the scores by some act of revenge.
If you’re at this stage, then this is for you.
Consider first, what’s in it for you. Will it make you feel better? Maybe in the short term, but highly unlikely beyond that.
Consider also this question: does it really matter? This is a hard question to accept - especially when we’re attached to a feeling or event by its recentness. But seriously, does it really matter?
- If you get even with your ex, does it change anything?
- if you even the scores with your ex wife, will you feel better about what she did?
The answer is always ‘no’, of course. If anything, by hanging on to the anger, by wanting to get even with your ex, you’re only prolonging the very same feelings you’re trying to rid yourself from (it’s a great irony).
The tragedy here stays with you: put simply, if you hang on to this wish for revenge you will likely be doing yourself mental and even physical harm in the long term. To find out why, read my article titled:
Getting even with an ex girlfriend
Mastery begins with the self
Jose Gonzalez
Author, Qualified NLP Practitioner, member of the Society Of NLP
Get your 6500 + word sample of How To Get Over Your Ex. It's FREE and yours to keep - use as a reference, whenever and wherever.
