Ironically this question seems to cross people’s minds more often when they are in a relationship. Seldom is this question asked straight after a breakup, but still, you may find yourself in this situation weeks or even months after you split up.
As time goes by and you move on, you’re likely to remember the good times more than the bad times of your relationship. Even if you remember the bad times, after a while, the sting will be somewhat duller.
Having said this, people do change and it is possible that a chance encounter with an ex partner – at a time when you are both available – may have you wondering whether it is a good idea to get back into a relationship with them.
When it comes to relationships the real question is a question of value. The most important question you should be asking yourself is: how much value has my ex retained?
To better understand this concept of value in terms of relationships, think about the following example:
Imagine you split up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. You find yourself caught up in a sea of emotions and you dealing with day-to-day things is hard for a while. You’re hurt and you need time to recover.
You’ve been keeping yourself holed up for a while, low-key, until eventually you feel ‘good’ enough to venture out again and start taking part in every day life, hoping to eventually pick the pace up again.
Much to your surprise however you discover that in the meantime your ex has been busy dating like it’s going out of fashion ptrtty much from day 1 after your breakup.
In fact, your ex has got quite a name for themselves now, strutting their stuff across town hopping from bed to bed.
Think about how you feel when you hear this.
Now ask yourself: how much value has my ex and we retained since our breakup?
If the answer is none or very little, then move on and start finding people of higher social value.
Jose GonzalezNLP Qualified Author
Good advice.