Following my last post (should you whine about your ex?) I received a few e-mails asking me when the best time to pour your heart out is, once you have broken up. (Note: please comment on the posts themselves – it makes it easier to me to deal with and helps everybody else too).
Of course I don’t suggest ‘bottling’ it all in. What I do suggest instead is that you observe social etiquette and don’t offload all your issues and problems on to your friends when they’re not asking you to so.
If you have a close friend, they will usually let you know when it’s time for you to offload on them.
Normally people inform their friends (eventually) when they have broken. At that point you may receive some invites to visit from friends. Read between the lines: are they throwing you an invite as a favor (from friend to friend) to get you out for a while? If this is the case, then what they’re really saying is that they don’t mind you tagging along with them, but this is about them – its their night out (or whatever you’ve been invited to) not yours.
Or are they asking you to visit and even suggesting a night in, perhaps with some drinks and something to eat? If this is the case, then they’re making it clear that they’re giving up a bit of a their time to you. This is the window you’re looking for; this is where you get to pour your feelings out and get it all off your chest.
Not many people will offer you this selflessly (it’s not the same when the other person is making this sacrifice so that they get your company in exchange). This is a good time to find out who your real friends are.
Jose GonzalezNLP Qualified Author
