Would you date your ex?

In my previous post I wrote about how it may not be you or something that you specifically do that’s the issue if your success with dating and relationships is below average.

Particularly if you keep dating the same type of person and your relationships always fail. Assuming of course that you are to large degree an emotionally healthy and mature individual, then the above would seem to indicate that you are dating the wrong type of person.

So how good are you at making decisions when it comes to choosing a partner? Do you need to raise the bar?

A good way to frame this question is by looking at it this way: knowing what you know now, would you date your ex?

If the answer is a resounding NO, then you need to ask yourself what it is that you didn’t see back when you decided to start dating your ex? Especially if what you see now seems to you very obvious.

You may find that the people you tend to gravitate toward have similar mode of behaviour when it comes to certain situations, and those modes of behaviour may cause friction with your own way of doing things.

For instance, if you tend to date extreme extroverts, you’ll find that they may be flirtatious with just about anything that moves. If this behaviour upsets you, then simply stop dating extroverts.

Become aware of your own patterns when it comes to making choices in partners, and start by looking for commonalities – something that your exes had in common – things that you didn’t particularly like. When you become conscious of these traits you will spot them very easily in other people and this will empower you when it comes to making better decisions and choosing better partners.

If it isn’t working, raise the bar.