she told me that she needs time and not to call or message her… still i kept calling her again n again and she won`t speak at all… it was only me who was doing all the talking!! so as days passed by she got irritated with my calls and messages… and she said that she doesn`t have the love for me as before and that she lost the feel!!! i begged her and pleaded with her and tried many ways to get her convinced, i even went to meet her and that made things more worse… she said that she hates me completely and i tried to contact her friends and know about what she`s thinking of me.. tat pissed her away and she got more mad at me..

in the mean while i came to knw that she and that colleague of hers who proposed her were contacting each other and she had lunch with him one day and also gave him a gift without anyone`s knowledge on the day he was going in a project work to USA. he contacted her daily through calls and mails and facebook… but i dunno the extent or the type of their relatonship.. she had unfriended me from facebook too…

when some of her colleagues in company asked her why she was in contact with that guy when she`s gonna marry me?? they also said that its creating a very bad image to her… so she told them that she had mailed that guy not to chat or call or message her… and that she`s sorry that she`s didnt know that people will misunderstand.. she said that she was jus friends with him and there was nothing else..

i dunno whether its the truth or not .. wat she said… coz, she ha been using mail and facebook now in offline mode since her colleagues had inquired her why does she chat with that guy online late nights when there`s only friendship between them??

the daily calls have been stopped from that day… but she`s still using mail and fb in offline mode.. i don`t even know whether she`s still in touch with him.. and she has completely gone away from me too. she attends my call anytime… but still speaks coldly to me.. and says that she doesn`t love me anymore and that love had died…

she said tha her parents are the most important to her and she has completely lost the belief she had in me.. and she oesn`t wanna lose her parents for the sake of me…

please tell me wat i should do??? please…

Andras,

It is normal to feel guilt when you pull the plug on something. There are many levels at which you can feel guilt (we are very complex organisms after all).

At one level, it's normal to attribute some fault to yourself. The sense of guilt in this case would translate into = could I have done more? Did I fail? Did I leave a ship that wasn't sinking?

On a more logical level, your ex was always making you feel guilty, so – like a 'ghost limb' the guilt prevails: your ex wouldn't have taken the blame for the breakup, which only leaves you.

As for getting your feelings back for her – ask yourself this (and be very honest with yourself… – are you seeking your ex's approval?

Finally, lose the 'she's not angry with me (yet) <—– and the 'I am my own worst enemy' attitude.

It reeks of guilt.

You're not guilty. Give yourself permission to drop the guilt.

Jose Gonzalez

The reason he left may or may have something to do with you. Who knows. But you can't start taking responsibility for everybody's actions now can you…

You're making it about 'you'… without knowing if it is.

* I'm not suggesting you go on a crusade to find out either.
Jose Gonzalez

Download the free sample of my book and start reading. You'll find step 1 has the key to turning things around.

If you don't understand step 1, read it again, and again, until you see it.

Give up the past.
Jose Gonzalez

Behave man. 1 hour is not long distance (maybe if you're crawling over glass it is…)

As for dreaming of your ex… if you dream you kill somebody do you go and turn yourself in?

Your dreams may have been triggered by a deja-vu feeling. You're thinking about the 'long' distance now, and you already have a connection to this though with your previous experience.

So you've rekindled some memories and now they've surfaced.

So what does that mean?

Probably nothing. There's only you here having those dreams, and they are related to your own though patterns.

Get a grip of yourself and bring your head back to the present – if you think what you have is a good thing.

As for the 'long distance…' – change your perspective and your thoughts will change with it.

Jose Gonzalez

Let me ask you: why do you always feel the need to go back to your ex?

You also imply that you feel guilty.

Guilt = need?

Get rid of the guilt, and the need disappears.

Go!